Digital Rebel

I slept for 27 hours last night O.O

but yea I had a nightmare i guess thats what you call it. So this kid comes up to me and touches me and says your “it”. And for some reason I don’t know why or how I knew, when your it after 24 hours this old…. disfigured, limping guy comes up to you and kills you. So throughout my 27 hours of dreaming i was running around tagging other people and other people were tagging me. I guess this is from playing too much tag in junior high at 174 and watching the ring hahahah. My 7 question final is tomorrow and I still haven’t studied yet T_T I’m bored so heres a quick list I made.

Things I dont regret when people say I should

• not going to prom
• not going to graduation
• hating my family
• meeting/dating x
• trading my xbox360 for ps3
• not trying in high school
• quit learning piano
• living alone
• pledging
• playing cs

Things I regret

• buying xbox 360
• applying to only 2 colleges
• allowing my mom to stop me from learning the martial arts I wanted to learn
• moving away from HK/Cali
• going to stony brook
• going to baruch
• being friends with people I’m friends with now
• going back to queens so often
• pledging (yes both)
• meeting kumding and batman
• playing WoW
• having sex

I’m in love with this anime… I haven’t studied because I was staying up watching it. I had to read the spoilers to stop myself from watching it. The girl of my dreams is exactly like the main character, I always knew it and felt it, but I knew girls like that don’t exist anymore, at least in the U.S. And even if they do they would never fall for a guy like me physically or mentally. Glad nobody reads this shit cause its kinda embarassing.

Chick flicks make me depressed. =[

Yesterday was snowing like a crazy, I remember the day before I was at Walmart staring at the snow brusher/ice scraper with $5.99 right below it, I was contemplating whether to get it or not. “Its not going to snow anytime soon” I thought to myself and just left Walmart with a bag of chips. The next day I wake up and theres like 4 inches of snow outside, all I could think of was fuck the only gloves I have is my northface liners. I put on those gloves and quickly used my hands to get the snow off my car and drove to school. The gloves were liners so they weren’t waterproof, when the gloves got wet I couldn’t feel my hands anymore. After school I stopped by Walmart again to pick up a shovel (incase I have to dig out my car) and that snow brusher/ice scraper. I found the shovel, but I was literally walking around in circles for 10 minutes trying to find the ice scraper. It turns out that they are sold out. There was only like 5 billion of them the day before and 8 hours later your telling me that they are all gone.

I decided to go to Walbaums to pick up some food and drinks afterwards, after checking out I saw the ice scraper sitting next to the exit, I quickly grabbed the last one and went back to the cashier paid for it and started scraping the snow/ice off my car (yes I was driving not being able to see the back/sides and can only see 1/4 of the front). When I got home I happily laid down on my bed knowing that I’m ready to dig out my car tomorrow.

I woke up this morning to find out that its warm outside and the sun melted the snow. I felt like I wasted 20 dollars, but at least now I know that I’m ready when it snows again and I will always have a shovel the size of the empire state building in my trunk.

Oh yea, took some interesting pictures in my car when it was snowing.

I hate cops

Mmmmmmm this song reminds me of H for some odd reason.

So today x popped up in my head again. It’s not like I miss her or want to get back with her, she just comes into my mind every now and then. The last time I spoke to her was when we were watching The Girl Next Door. This reminded me of one of my favorite quotes that came from the movie.

“Moral fiber. So, what is moral fiber? It’s funny, I used to think it was always telling the truth, doing good deeds, basically being a fucking boy scout. But lately I’ve been seeing it differently. Now I think moral fiber’s about finding that one thing you really care about. That one special thing that means more to you than anything else in the world. And when you find her, you fight for her. You risk it all, you put her in front of everything, your life, all of it. And maybe the stuff you do to help her isn’t so clean. You know what? It doesn’t matter. Because in your heart you know, that the juice is worth the squeeze. That’s what moral fiber’s all about.”

I help people out all the time, regardless of how well I know them, how much I hate/like them, it’s just a soft spot I have. I was brought up this way, treat others the way you would want them to treat you. I never expect/ask for anything in return, but I do want people to stop taking advantage of me cause of this, don’t talk to me after like 3 weeks of no contact and make it seem like were really close friends and ask for a favor. In the end you will most likely get what you want, but I will also be very pissed even though you might not know it.

Which makes me wonder, when I do find that one thing, or her, what will my “moral fiber” be like?? She’ll probably tell me to jump off a cliff and I’d probably do it (just a metaphor). I already do so much for normal people, I better like her A LOT. I guess I won’t know until it happens. I rather have a true close friend than a girlfriend. I mean, that close friend being my girl friend would be a plus, but I could really care less.

What does moral fiber mean to you?

Yep, my blog is using a default theme, looks like I wont be designing a layout until finals are over. I am officially failing most of my classes and I don’t care anymore. I have been lazy and procrastinated for the past 2 months, I was supposed to create this blog 2 months ago, and I was supposed to write my first post a week ago.

So today H messaged me out of nowhere asking me for a favor. I have never spoken to H online before. I never liked her for what she has done to some people I know, and I guess I would categorize her as a tramp. She wanted me to drive her somewhere this coming weekend. At that moment, memories of every single person who approaches me only to ask me for something rushed into my mind. At first I gave an unsure answer, but being the pathetic nice guy I am I agreed to help if I am free. 6 hours later… I am writing this and all I could think is “damn, I did it again, why do I keep doing it, this will be the last time” but we all know it won’t be the last time, lets see how long I will last this time. I think I’m doing pretty well right now since I managed to cut all ties with slut, x, and cxdp. I was originally going to write about everything I’ve done and random funny things that have gone through my mind today but its getting late and since I procrastinated today, I will have twice as much procrastinating to do tomorrow -_-. Thanks kinky for talking to me lately even though I’m still kind of suspicious of your intentions.

How do they get the soup into the dumplings?